“Your vocation is to be a wife and a mother.”
I read and re-read my grand-aunt’s letter to me. She was a holy, elderly Carmelite nun who had given me a one-on-one retreat a couple of weeks before my wedding. I had just shared with her the great news that my husband and I were expecting our first child; she responded with joy and that simple statement reminding me of our talks.
I was a few months shy of graduating from my MBA program and both my husband and I were excited at the prospect of my working full-time and bringing in some much-needed income to augment his lowly salary. We were looking forward to vacations, new cars, and enjoying all the pleasures that money could buy. So when I read those words from my grand-aunt, I thought, “Is she crazy? Does she not realize how much we had to put in for me to finish my MBA? Is she asking me to abandon my education and become…of all things…a stay-at-home mom?!” I resisted the idea and put the letter away, but those words just kept gnawing at my heart. As my baby grew inside me and I felt every little movement of life inside my womb, I felt pangs of love and I couldn’t, for the life of me, imagine giving that baby to someone else to care for. Our families lived out of state and we didn’t have the emotional and family support that other couples may have had. As I grew closer and closer to my due date, I made the decision: I was going to stay home. My husband was disappointed with my choice but knew that it was the best for our family. I promised to start working once the baby got into school, but one baby followed and soon another and another. Before I knew it, 20 years had passed and I remained a stay-at-home mom. When people ask me if I regret that decision, I immediately tell them “No.”
Truly God is good! With my decision to stay at home, I was able to help support my husband’s career one hundred percent and we enjoyed a charmed life. With no career for me to worry about, I was able to follow my husband to Asia. We traveled around the country and vacationed for free. We saved enough money to get ourselves out of the debt that we incurred in the beginning of our marriage. We raised 4 beautiful children who are solid in their values and faith. Our marriage is stronger than ever, as we learned to prioritize our faith, marriage and family before anything else.
We may not enjoy the luxuries of a huge house, several cars, or fantasy vacations that would have been easily acquired if I had made a different career choice. But the blessings that came with that decision are immeasurable. A good and loving marriage, the joy of having children, and the peace that comes from submitting to the Father’s plan are truly treasures that money cannot buy! We were never in need of anything and even in the lean years and during the times when my husband lost his job, God always provided. Today, with my youngest in Kindergarten, I have finally started working full-time as a religion teacher. It is truly rewarding to be able to share the faith with other children, to be home when my own children are home, and to augment our income as expenses rise and college tuition is on the horizon. God is truly a generous Father and wishes to bestow on us all His blessings, but we just need to give Him a chance to do so. In all these years of walking in faith, I’ve learned that the more I say “Yes” to him, the more He blesses me. It’s not always easy and it does require sacrifice, but it has strengthened my hope and trust in His love and promises.